As I was going through our picture files, I came across some really hilarious pictures, so I thought I'd dedicate an entire post just to them!
Disclaimer: some of these are from my camera phone so the quality isn't superb.
Hope you enjoy!
I went in to Penelope's room one morning when she woke up, and this is the face she was pulling.
I'm so glad my camera was right there to capture it!
Oliver was busy tinkering in his room and came out wearing this shirt. He said "Look mom, this shirt fits me! I like it! Where did it come from?" I almost wet my pants!
I got it at the hospital about 2 seconds after I delivered him, as a gift from my doctor. It's so hideous, but I still haven't been able to part with it. I love that he found it and put it on! It's even better that I made him pose in it while I was laughing hysterically. He was mortified, hence the face. I sound so mean!!
While I was driving Oliver to school, Penelope was starving and ready to nurse. I was furiously handing her back these little "yogurt melts" to keep her screaming to a minimum. When I finally could pull over in a parking lot to feed her, this is what I found. At first I thought she was bleeding, but when I figured out it was the stupid yogurt melts, I had a good chuckle to myself.
Ollie and me being obnoxious.
OK. This one takes the cake. I'll start at the beginning.
You know the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day? Well that was MY day. Start to finish. It was so bad in fact, that I had to write it down before I went to bed so I would never forget it. Because I knew I would laugh one day!
* First off, I was making waffles for breakfast. I forgot to spray the waffle iron, and ended up with waffles stuck to both sides of my huge waffle iron (that makes 6 at once). So that's 12 total slots I had to scrape burnt chocolate waffle off of before I could continue. And wasted about 1/2 my batter. And if that wasn't bad enough, I burned my finger on the dumb thing too.
* I spent an hour and half trying to get Penelope to nap.
* I lost my cell phone at Walmart. Went to customer service and they called it for me. It was under my stupid box of donuts that I swear I lifted up 3 times to check under.
* As I was leaving Walmart, there was a mom surrounded by paramedics. She had her little girl with her who looked so scared. Since I had just picked up donuts for Oliver's birthday treat for school the next day, I gave her one to cheer her up. I was glad I could do something little for her.
(Nothing bad for me on that one, just a weird thing to add to my weird day.)
* When I got home, I realized that I had locked myself out of my house. I could get in the garage, but that was it. Steve was out of town, and I had forgotten I had locked the garage door going into the house the night before. It's a relatively new doorknob, and I didn't realize that it could still turn from the inside even if it was locked. Nice. Penelope was starving, and I was so grateful I was still nursing her because I didn't have any baby food in the car with me. While I'm sitting there, I am furiously dialing Teal to see if he can come over and try to get in one of my windows when I hear:
"Yoo Hoo!......I said hey girl!.... Are you lookin' to adopt a pregnant lady from Texas?"
Um, what? I poke my head out of the car. Standing in my garage is this pregnant black lady.
"What?" I ask her.
"You lookin' to adopt a pregnant black lady honey? I'm just kiddin'!"
(I'm so confused I'm not sure what to say)
"You got some stains on your carpet? Fingerprints on your mirror? What's the dirtiest spot in your house? I can clean in for you!"
Then she holds up a bottle of cleaner and it all starts coming together. She's going door to door selling things. Only she didn't go to my door. She went to my car. Where my ta tas are half hanging out while I'm feeding my baby because I'm locked out of the house. Lovely.
She hands me a brochure that explains all about it.Then she starts doing all sorts of demos on my car with the cleaner, and then sprays it IN HER MOUTH because it's all natural. I'm starting to not be so annoyed and really want to buy her cleaner! Except my purse is locked in the house. I explain that to her, and I don't think she believes me, because she turns not-so-friendly on me and snatches the brochure back out of my hand and walks out of my garage. Now I've made her mad and I don't know what the cleaner is called so I can get it later!!! Just my luck.
Teal gets there a few minutes later and thankfully, there is a window open that he got on a ladder and crawled through. Then he went and picked the boys up from school so I could finish feeding the baby in the house. Thank heaven for my manny!
* Remember the donuts I bought? They were still in the car throughout this whole fiasco, and when Teal was driving to pick the boys up, he decided to help himself to a couple. Which would have been fine normally, but I only had enough FOR OLIVER'S BIRTHDAY TREAT AT SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY!!! Really????
* That evening, things had been so chaotic, so obviously I didn't have anything going for dinner. I decided to push the easy button and load everyone up and go get hamburgers. Don't worry. Oliver spilled his drink all over his when we pulled in the driveway, and it wasn't edible. I gave him mine.
*While refilling my paper towels that night, I slammed my finger in the stupid holder. It's the worst holder on Earth, and I normally refuse to refill it. But with Steve out of town, I had no choice!
*Hudson's tooth fell out, to add to the mayhem. Thankfully I had stocked up on Tooth Fairy prizes, so at least I was covered, but seriously? How about one less thing to worry about?
* Teal was desperate for a haircut, so at 11:00 pm, we found ourselves out on my front porch cutting away.
I hated that day. Some days are like that. Even in Australia.
While driving one day, I spotted this sign at a pottery store and pulled over to take a picture. It was Mother's Day weekend, and I thought it was so clever! I wouldn't have minded a "little pot" after my Terrible Horrible Day!
And finally...Spider Pip! The boys love to dress her up in their masks, and she goes right along with it happily!
Hope this made you giggle today!